Hollywood & Harvey For Neophytes
Section 1:
Hollywood Refugee Camps
Section 2:
And The Academy Award Goes To...
Section 3:
Boy Toys on Casting Couches
Section 4:
Neophytes, Um... Don't Be A Neophyte
1.
FADE IN: EXT. WEST HOLLYWOOD — PERPETUAL NIGHT. A dark ominous cloud hovers over WeHo with a persistence never before seen. The streets are emptied and post-apocalyptic. It’s clear –– some kind of dirty, dirty bomb has gone off in this town. A bomb called "Harvey."
An endless flow of black chauffeured sedans with tinted windows race down a vacant Santa Monica Blvd. A troublesome bottleneck forms at the 405 North entrance ramp –– WeHo’s single escape route.
24 minutes north, freshly fueled private jets stand in cue ready for the next wave of speeding Town Cars. All hands are on deck at the Van Nuys Airport.
Oh. This purge is real.
Disillusioned Hollywood execs cross the tarmac, their limited belongings and Oscar trophies in either fists. They flee like well-dressed, war-torn refugees. Personal assistants begrudgingly follow in tow, clutching freshly inked NDA’s. No one is safe. An un-natural disaster has hit, and is spilling over its cracking levees. No one knows who’ll be outed, masticated and swallowed whole next. SFX: GHOULISH LAUGHTER.
Aaaaaand... scene.
Yes, Hollywood, CA has been that cinematic in the last few weeks. Like, literally. The geographical playground for the film industry itself wasturned into an unintentional movie set. It wasn't Aaron Sorkin who penned the script this time. Best Screenplay will go to The New York Times & The New Yorker –– with a story credit by you know who –– of course. We heard his official WGA registered pen-name is "Douchebag Esq."
Oscar contention is likely. The biopic boasts one of the biggest names in Academy Award history as its chief protagonist and piñata.
Section 2: And The Academy Award Goes To...
Hearing about famed Hollywood producer, Harvey Weinstein, founder of The –– #UltraPrestigious –– Weinstein Company, and his reported real-life indecent proposals, may have come as a complete shock to America’s movie going public. But, rest assured. No, rest very assured. It most certainly was no shock for those in the industry –– nor the industry adjacent.
The only authentic shock within the tightly roped boundaries of the Hollywood initiated was seeing a huge powerbroker like Harvey caught, outed, tarred, feathered and deflated like a Macy’s parade balloon. And, via public firing squad, at that. Now, that’s a shock. Sex play for screen play? No shock. Harvey’s Hollywood impeachment? Shock. Get the gist?
However, as predicted, you can cue the 32-piece Hans Zimmer film score orchestra now, because the acting has begun.
Naturally. Everyone important and corporate in Hollywood is going to feign righteous indignation about this news and put on their best Oscar fetching performance, pretending surprise. They have to. That's not a judgement. They just do.
But as they do, understand that you are watching just that –– a performance. I mean, that’s what Hollywooders do better than anyone on the globe -- perform. And they are downright the awwwwesomest at it.
So, if you're following this story closely, grab your Twizzlers and buttery popped corn to completely enjoy all the ‘shock and awe' screen tests before the visiting news cameras and not-so-good J-School lighting, But when you reach the bottom of your buttery bucket, consider this.
When the news crews fly home, after the final curtain falls on this spectacle in a few weeks, you and I will know what time it really is in Hollywood. It’s “business-as-usual-o’clock,” Pacific Standard Time.
Houston, we have a serious problem. And by "Houston," I mean Hollywood. And by "problem," I still mean Harvey.
But Hollywood Neophytes need to understand that Harvey isn't truly half the problem –– a third, a fourth, nor a sixty-fourth. The problem is the Hollywood culture that breeds little Harveys, medium Harveys and colossal sized Harveys like Weinstein. They're everywhere out here. And if you think this problem is going to be gone just because he's gone, you truly are a neophyte.
I refuse to kid myself. And I advise you not to kid yours. When have you known Hollywood to "not" have a (not-so-under) underbelly of sex, power and powder? I mean, mesmerizing CNN performances and riveting NYT Op-Eds aside, can we talk?
You cannot fix a problem if you refuse to get real about a problem.
Listen.
It's simple.
Math is just math.
"This," plus "that" = a whole lot of that "other unmentionable stuff."
Put less than gorgeous, mega-powerful entertainment execs in the same room with overly-beautiful actors and actresses, and, well, the inevitable will happen. Its as predictable a phenomenon as the law of gravity under Newton’s tree. Translation: It’s all gonna go down, my little friend. (Especially if Newton has fermented some of those apples.)
Unsavory advances will likely be made. Unseemly transactions will too often ensue.
Think about what's in the room. Both parties thirst and lust for what the other has. Both parties have pipe-dreams dangling before one another. And in many instances, both are there to shoot their best shot with the other.
The unattractive powerful entertainment exec has a green light in their pocket –– one that could potentially change an actor or actresses life overnight. The overly gorgeous actress or actor has goodies near and around their pockets too. It ain’t money. It for sure isn’t a green light. But it still is power. Enough to make a lust-filled exec –– whom could never score this beauty outside of their executive title –– propose or “subliminally suggest” some of the most vile sexual favors in exchange for stardom.
And, sadly, so sadly, and well beyond cliche', many of these pathetic power brokers truly want their magic-wands fondled before they wave it. Ta-dah!
Welcome to the part of Hollywood that isn't on TV. Still wanna be a star?
Section 3: Boy Toys on Casting Couches
Assuming you were alert during the paragraphs above, I hope you noticed the intentional use of the equal-opportunity terms, “actress” and “actor”. That should have made at least one of your eyebrows do a distinctively perfect arch. However, if you happen to be a tinsel-town convert, i.e. transplanted resident, your eyebrow didn't flinch an inch. You most likely released a dismissive inner “amen” like a Joel Osteen congregant on a Houston Sunday –– post Harvey, of course. The other "Harvey."
Hollywood insiders know that current poster/piñata-boy, Weinstein, is just the tiny tip of a humongous iceberg. The true volume and mass of this problem lurks beneath the Pacific Rim like a stealth Russian nuclear sub. (enter smart, pithy ‘Red October’ reference for me here, please… thanks.]
Harvey’s egregious accused behavior is indicative of a much, much deeper cancerous culture in Hollywood –– affectionately known as “the casting couch.” And, face it, the shame, disgust and sometimes criminality of the casting couch has more tenure in Hollywood than Jack Nicholson’s frown lines. And we know Jack has been movie acting and scowling since before L.A. had paved roads. Therefore, that couch is as old as the crevices in the bowels of hell and is certainly nothing new. It’s been re-upholstered for re-use so many times, it can still cop a fresh new sale on the floor-room of the Burbank IKEA, today.
And, though that well-worn lusty love seat is still up to its traditional dirty tricks, the most famous piece of furniture from the props department actually has a new added twist these days. [Hollywood Neophytes, you might wanna punch up the brightness on your computer screens for this one.]
Sexual propositioning no longer just happens to aspiring female talent. Purportedly, it’s greatly happening to aspiring males –– and likely at numbers no one is willing to admit to. Hollywood’s “in-power predators” have brought a bit of gender equality to that famed and dirty little couch. It's all in play now. If you want that star-making role, leading man or leading woman, all too often, its all up for grabs. Pun sadly intended.
Sex crimes are the crimes that largely go unreported. That's because the victim first suffers the assault, then must suffer the shame of the assault if they report it. Many more women in Hollywood have suffered than you will ever know about. Let's not add the inbred pride of men to the equation of the silent and victimized.
But while we are on the subject of "silent populations," you should know that there is another distinct group also afoot in this mess. They could be called reverse-predators. I figure... why should we keep it 99.9% real, when we can round it up all the way?
See, there's a whole silent mass of actors/actress you will NOT BE HEARING FROM during these Harvey weeks –– the ones who worked that dirty little couch to advance themselves. Yeah, them. They are more complicit in this matter than you know. They are the ones who made all the small, medium and large Harveys think that what they were doing was okay, before they propositioned you. Do you know how many groupies say "yes" before that one or two who say "no"? That's the part you don't realize is greatly contributing to this toxic soup. And all this time, you were wondering how the one girl you see on all those auditions, with subpar talent, keeps getting the callbacks.
Digression done.
No one knows to what degree males are getting couched because males are less prone to be forthcoming about what they’ve done, what was done to them or what they were propositioned to do –– by another male –– and a powerful one. In fact, just days ago, I was abruptly reminded of this fact.
A talented actor friend inadvertently entered the popular pop-up Weinstein confessional during an impromptu conversation about something completely different. In this town, it doesn't matter –– all conversations somehow lead back to Weinstein, these days. His unsolicited testimony intimated his real reasons for disembarking the Hollywood “un-merry” go-round a few years back. He kept it real. He kept it courageous. I will only summarize, and with anonymity. It was his last straw.
For him, it was just too much when another Harvey type, a powerful producer, poached him from the wings of another powerful name in Hollywood –– but for nefarious purposes. At first he thought he was being drafted solely for his glaring talent. However, soon, he realized he was being poached for an entirely different reason. Like, entirely.
He soon discovered that more than his thespian talent caught the eye of the powerful producer. Compliment after compliment, veiled comment after not-so-veiled comment, it was clear. He was the new eye-candy around the producer’s office –– candy the producer reportedly had strong plans of unwrapping for a taste.
My actor friend explained he was having absolutely none of it –– like ZERO. He courageously walked away from a dream opportunity, which disembarked him from a speeding train to the A-list. He left it all behind.
For those outsiders who don't know, Hollywood is just a big, shiny, rich small town. Greater L.A. is just the urban mote around it. Being approached by one of these super rich and super powerful above-the-law predators is more than daunting.
In a superficial landscape, these people hold so much pervasive power in Hollywood –– all because of their deeply entrenched relationships. Bruise the ego of one of these ego megalomaniacs and all they have to do is press a button. Your career could be over, stalled and dead in the time it takes to create and send a group text.
Potentially no company will touch you to stay in the good graces of the powerbroker. And being that Weinstein was reportedly connected to nearly 300 Academy Award nominations, the honor, pageantry, influence and power that comes from such a pedestal (in Hollywood terms) can easily be compared to any 20th Century South American dictator –– calling in favors to make pests, nuisances, the opposition, and the non-compliant go away. We're talking "Power."
Harvey even had President Obama's eldest daughter interning at his company in New York, so, you do the math. When the most powerful man in the world sees having his daughter work at your company as a "dream opportunity" for her, that's power. Thankfully, she's off to Harvard now and away from the implosion happening at The Weinstein Company.
Section 4: Neophytes, Um... Don't Be A Neophyte
There are lessons to be gleaned here. Are you gleaning them?
For those for whom acting is truly their one ability and one gift to offer the world, consider their plight. For those who sacrificed everything, leaving their small town home, perhaps in a distant country, to pursue their highest aspiration –– consider their plight. These people just want to work. They don't want to be sexually propositioned, exploited or assaulted by gate-keepers just to do their art.
Predators at every level of the Hollywood chess game need to be dismantled, but potential future victims need to be schooled.
Neophytes beware. Neophytes, be wise. If you happen to read this, take the naive twinkle out of your eye. No, that's not really a joke. Don't come with that starry-eyed look in your gaze. You'll be the first one propositioned –– and that'll just be from the 60-year-old guy, now valet parking at The Beverly Hills Hotel, who once worked as a PA on Sanford & Son.
And if you think he has credibility because of that, he might work you for that belief–– all to get some affection favors from you –– to so-called make "introductions" for you to the president of ACME BIG DEAL MOVIE STUDIOS LLC. Yah, yah, blah, blah... I'll park my own damn car, old-timer.
Smart ladies will take their male companions along with them to those after-business-hours meet-ups with producers –– that is –– if the producer doesn't block them from doing so. And now, smart males need to take their "larger" male compadres along with them to after-business-hours meet-ups with some of these predatory producers. It's real in the world today. If your starry-eyes isn't because of the free make-over you just got from the MAC Counter at The Grove, you're gonna have a problem out here. Sober up.
Personally, I've had to counsel too many newly arrived bewildered female aspirants telling them which parties to attend or not –– which to leave before the after-party –– and to certainly not get caught in the mansion during the after-party, after, the after-party. It's just the way Hollywood is. And it’s enough to make anyone flee this town and throw their dreams away –– male, female or Martian.
Listen.
While we're waiting on the culture of Hollywood to change, life will go on. Movies will be made. New, young aspiring talent will show up via plane, train or automobile. A good measure of them will have that non-MAC Counter starry-eyed gaze. A good measure of them will have never heard of Harvey Weinstein.
As per usual, every trap imaginable will be awaiting the wide-eyed and naive. Be alert, when you send your daughters “or” your sons. It's tinsel-town. Everything that glitters is far from gold. But everything does glitter. It’s just that most of that glitter is–– well –– glitter glued on some gold-plated bullsh*t.
Some say Weinstein's departure will signal a permanent cultural change in Hollywood. I'm no so wide-eyed.
I think that where there is great desire, there will always be someone there waiting to exploit that desire. There will always be great exploitation of those who are not firmly rooted within themselves. It's the nature of nature.
Of course, Mr. Weinstein himself will likely never return to his former glory and stature. But, so what. One symbolic wolf defanged means nothing when the real problem is a Wolfpack.
Don't get me wrong. I would passionately love to see some Change.org, just like you. But how do you regulate slime in slime-ball human beings? Let me know when you get an answer. I already asked Google. Crickets.
Meanwhile, I'll be putting my money on the probability of an Aaron Sorkin penned Oscar winning film named "Harvey" released in 2020. That'll most likely be Hollywood's contribution to the war on sexually predatory practices in the glitter capitol –– versus substantive change.
I mean... c'mon. The show must go on. Right? One predator never stopped it before (cough, Polanski). How the hell will this one? Let's just hope the wide-eyed elite don't go so far as to actually let Harvey produce the damned show –– the show that WILL, go on.
People, protect yourselves. Power, predators and desire are loose in the same small town.